Guys, why do people troll on the internet? Why are blogger hate comments a thing? Let this be the philosophical question of the day. Please, god, why? WHY? WHY?
And of all the people, why me? I’m a perfectly innocent little travel blogger over here, just minding my own business. The purpose of this blog is to inspire people to travel, what is so confronting about that? Move along. Why can people be so mean to me online? I don’t get it. I’m lovely, alright?
Just kidding. Sometimes I’m a shit stirrer. I stir the pot on purpose. If I see something I think is wrong, I say it. Also, god did not see fit to gift me with grace or tact. I am really good at regularly putting my foot in my mouth, often publicly. I also don’t know when to back away. And I’m cynical. Is this a recipe for a well-loved image? I’m not quite sure.
At least I’m real, right? Of all my flaws at least I like to think I’m authentic, the only truly honest blogger in a sea of vapid, shallow fools.
Stop talking, Liz. Like right now.
Anyways, it’s no secret, I get mean comments on the regular, so regular in fact that I have been doing annual round ups of the best mean comments I get every single year since 2012. I know I’m shamefully overdue on this post. I completely missed 2016.
2016 was an intense year for me, and when it came down to digging through comments looking for the horrible ones, I just couldn’t bring myself to go down that particular roller coaster. It was also the first year I started to get death threats. I just wasn’t in the mood. Can you forgive me?
Hate comments aren’t a novelty to me anymore, and they haven’t been for a long time. I’ve gotten tens of thousands of comments over the years, with a small percentage of them being ugly, and I’ve learned to just let them slide by in a giant wave of pity – I truly for sorry for anyone that takes the time to hate me so much online. Also, I’m probably laughing at you.
Also, I’ve really just stopped paying attention when people troll me; five years of regular trolls has given me armor. I went from being a delicate rose who bruised easily to a goddamn rhino. Go on, try and say something to mean to me. It can hardly be any worse that what I’ve gotten before.
And to be honest, it’s the same shit day in and day out. You’re privileged (yeah I know), you’re entitled (no I am not, thank you), you travel off your daddy’s money (HA, if you only knew…), you’re ugly, you’re fat, you’re stupid, you swear too much, you’re a know it all, you do this why don’t you do that, blah blah blah it never fucking ends.
Honestly, I yearn for the creative insults. I think my trolls have gotten lazy. Where’s the witty banter? The colorful backhanded comments? The passive aggressive DMs? They’ve disappeared into regular grammatically ugly “what a c*nt” and “how is this blog even popular” lazy comments. I mean for fuck’s sakes guys, if you’re gonna come for me, try a little.
But I digress. Back by popular demand, I’ve taken the time to dig through my work and find the best of the best blogger hate comments, the most entertaining, the ugliest, the cruelest, the worst hate comments I get just for you. Because at the end of the day, the only way we can deal with this BS is just to laugh. You’re welcome. Enjoy.
1. The most popular Facebook comment in response to an article about how I built my career in blogging
And if she wasn’t a young blond with a penchant for putting out to old men she’d be working at Officeworks for $15/hr
I want to start an argument about feminism here but just can’t be fucked.
2. And the second most liked comment on the same article
The only thing worse than a human that resembles a vacuous opportunistic sponge is the plethora of parasites that aspire to be just that.
Just so we’re clear, I’m the sponge and you’re the parasite in this allegory.
3. Writing about how Jane Goodall inspires me to be better with conservation
You are not an “activist for saving the planet.” The number of flights you take each year creates more carbon emissions that most of us create in our LIVES. If you actually cared about the environment you would travel solely by bike and public transport with an occasional flight, not dozens of international flights a year. Get a grip.
I mean, fair point. I’d love some tips about biking overseas from the island of New Zealand where I live.
4. I really hate it when people don’t get sarcasm online on my how to cheat on Instagram
Teaching young people that life depends on Instagram. Thats great and people were wondering what was happening to our decaying society. Telling them that their popularity will increase if they sell their sexuality too. Wow what a true feminist you are. Pathetic. The whole millennial generation is going to be morally bankrupt.
I just facepalmed so hard.
5. Speaking of Instagram…
Not to be rude, just honest, but I noticed your photos have extremely low engagement for “168K” followers. I wonder if the companies who pay you notice this.
Guys, I’m literally one of the ONLY people who doesn’t cheat on Instagram! That’s why my engagement isn’t out of this world. But thanks for pointing that out.
6. That one time I wrote that Central Otago is one of the only regions in New Zealand that has four distinct seasons (which is true)
Seriously? The only region in New Zealand that experiences four distinct seasons? You need to travel more and drink less Pinot. I’m not even sure how I got your spam mail, but I live here, not just a FIFO tourist. If you want to trade travel stories, I’m sure you’ll lose.
You can’t make me drink less Pinot!!!! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!
7. When I wrote a million years ago about things that I hate that people do on airplanes
Sounds like a person who wrote the original article needs more than Ambien. probably could use some Xanax and some Prozac also. when you travel on a plane you know there is also something called other human beings. Get a grip. judging by your photo, You’re not that cute or anything special…..
Hope you find the help you need.
You know, funny story. One time in Bangkok I went to a pharmacy to get some sleeping pills for upcoming long haul flights – sometimes in Southeast Asia I can get strong sleeping pills over the counter. They gave me Xanax, no questions asked. Best flight ever. In fact, imagine if Xanax was provided on all long-haul flights. Who do I need to speak to about this?
8. Any time I provoke the vegans, one of my favorite pastimes
Me: writes thousands of words about wildlife, travel, sustainable tourism practices or about anything really
All of the vegans: You should consider going vegan
Me: but, bacon? So tasty.
All of the vegans: PITCHFORKS AT ATTENTION!
As a close friend used to say, do not negotiate with terrorists, Liz.
9. When I wrote a blog post about how to move to New Zealand as American (if you need some entertaining, go read through the comments) which is a minefield!
It is not your home. even if you wish it was it’s not, it is new zealands home. fuck off to your own home. leave mine alone… just fuck off back to usa and leave nz to be nz. stop telling people how to get here, we don’t want you. most nzers hate americans, you are boring n have no sense of humour, just fuck off bck to usa and leave nzers to our own country, plus u don’t get my point cos u dumb american.if u don’t want to be thought of a american sterotype don’t act like dunb american cunt….you are such a dunb cunt. this is why we hate you.
I can’t look beyond the grammatical and spelling errors in this, honestly I tried, but I can’t.
Yes go ahead pls MOVE out from US we don’t need weak, pathetic, ignorant ppl here who need “safe-spaces” You have been brain washed by fake media like cnn, fox, abc etc for too long
I just can’t.
Congratulations on proving again that liberal thought is shallow and feelings-based. Too much reading making your head hurt?
I’m literally the biggest reader you’ve ever met. Don’t even.
I read the first couple of paragraphs and had to stop. As a Trump supporter, I am offended by your words and will now stop following you. It’s really too bad that you offend some of your followers, here I thought I was following a travel blog. Please do move to NZ, because America will be better off without you!!
It’s ok, I’m ashamed to have had you as a reader.
That response obviously shows why 20 something women shouldn’t even have the right to vote.
*Begins to pull hair out of own head*
Im just trying to save you from having to take depression medication for the rest of your life thats all. What are you on now Zoloft or Prozac? 🙂
Neither, unfortunately. I sure could use one after reading this.
10. I appeared in a big NBC Dateline special about American’s moving to New Zealand and man, that opened the floodgates of crazy
Stay out of America you traitor bitch.
This was the first of many comments calling me a traitor.
STAY OUT OF AMERICA YOU BITCH. HOPE A HOBBIT KILLS YOUR SORRY ASS CUNT.
STAY OUT OF AMERICA YOU BITCH. I hope a sheep kills you and your family you faggot, the USA is the best country ever.
Me: I feel so sorry for you
I feel worse for you, you no good commie bastard. Stay out of my country and fuck off cunt. Fuck you you no life blogger get a real job.
Me: You feel better now?
Yes, I’m living in the US of A #MAGA fuck. Cuck.
Me: Well I feel better living in a place with people nicer than you. And I have healthcare. And I can spell.
BOOM! How’d they do? What’s the worst thing anyone has said to you online? Do you get trolled? How do you cope? Spill!